I have tried being with people I don’t find attractive – and I usually remain friends with very nice men I have tried to date but didn’t find attractive, and I’m afraid they don’t start growing on me. Have you come across this and do you think the reason I find so many men physically unappealing is because of something psychological? After all of your therapy, you are as self-aware as you can be, and yet it still seems to me that you have some significant blind spots about your problem.
Some of my friends think it’s do with the bar being raised…I’m quite attractive myself and I’ve had a lot of attention from the opposite of sex since I was about 13, including the “very good looking”, so perhaps it’s just knowing what I could have and that that’s influencing me? Now, first of all, I want to make it crystal clear: you are not alone.
This doesn’t mean that they’re not shallow (they are), but rather, that they are consistent and reasonable in terms of “rating” women’s looks.
Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%.
Ugly men, according to research published this week, are a safe bet when it comes to love.
I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive.
Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
After coaching women for many years, I already suspected this, but this was a stark realization when you see just how few men you even find to be average looking. Ok Cupid reports that the most attractive women still receive 5X more email than average women and 28X more email than unattractive women.
Literally 2/3 of male messages go to the best looking 1/3 of women.